Oh, if it isn’t enough that I live in a faraway land far away from my friends and people that seem to understand me. I frequently hear about my bad parenting skills. The constant judgement from people who think they know it all is just exhausting, “Shut your pie hole!” is what I would like to say, but I don’t because I’m a freaking lady. Seriously, when did it become the norm to constantly tell another mother what a shit job she is doing with her kid? Isn’t it enough that my child is fed, healthy, and clean.
I wake up every day putting my son and husband before myself. I make them breakfast and tend to their needs, as I check my work emails. I put my phone down and huddle around the kitchen bar to eat breakfast with my son, while having a conversation about whatever is on his mind (usually construction trucks). My husband is always three places at once, so he’s rarely mentally there. As he takes work calls, answers work messages, he tries to drink his coffee while my son reminds him that he needs to eat his breakfast before he goes to work. “Eat your breakfast Papa!”.
My husband kisses us goodbye as he is walking out the door. My son then asks his father for another kiss and hug and sends him off. I check a few more work emails while my son decides if he wants to feed our puppy his breakfast or play with her. I usually yell at him and say “eat your food, I already gave Ticky her own plate”, it never fails. He then compliments me on the breakfast I made him, only if he genuinely enjoyed it or if he wants to let me know it shouldn’t be included on his daily menu. The boy can eat, so he lets me know what he likes.
Then it’s time to get ready for school. It goes along the lines of screaming and constantly telling him to put his toys away and come get dressed. After successfully washing him up and getting him dressed (this is an hour ordeal), we walk out the door to head for school, not before playing with ever stick he finds on the grass. “Get in the car, we’re late”. On our way to school he tells me about his trucks, his trains, his friends, and what he likes. We argue about something or other (I think I have a future attorney on my hands) as he asks me “Why? But Why?” a million times, or “What’s that sound?”. I drop him off in class and try to have a word with his teachers. I love them, they reassure me that I’m not the suckiest parent. Finally, I get back to work.
This is my morning routine, every single day. That doesn’t include our night routine, which includes: reading together, cooking and eating, playing, yelling, bathing, more yelling, and non-stop Q&A. I might not be your conventional mother, but I think I do a bad ass job. I can probably make wave with less yelling, but quiet parents aren’t fun. When my kid gets sick, I take him to the doctor. When he is hungry, I make him food. When he is dirty, I bathe him. When he needs to go potty, I take him. If we are out and he misbehaves, I discipline him. On weekends, I take him to kid friendly places. He is not neglected, nor deprived of attention.
Even though he is my child, people will always have something to say. How about “mind your own business!”? I would never tell another mother what a crappy job she is doing with her kid, I just nod my head at her and tell her to have another glass of wine, it will make it all better. You can look at a kid and tell if his parents love him, and if his or her parents give them attention, so why give input when it’s not needed? Before social media days, parents weren’t as judgmental. And, adding “LOL” after saying something rude or mean, is still a shitty thing to do.
I understand that your life sucks and you need to make others feel like shit, just so you could have some sort of satisfaction in your life!!!
Let’s not forget the psychological distress that will cause my son later in life when he finds out his mother is not your normal “Minivan driving, scrunchy wearing, no makeup mother, who stays at home watching God knows what all day”.
No, I’m a working mother, who like 74.8% of the other mothers out there love to work and take care of their family, that adds up to 85 million mothers. I spent thousands of dollars of my hard-earned money on schooling and thousands of hours learning the shit that I know so I could have a career. I’m not sorry I’m not a stay at home mom. Some women honestly love being stay at home mothers, others love working. I shouldn’t have to validate my parenting skills or lack thereof parenting skills, because you think I’m not a good enough parent.
….back to my real life, I need to make my family breakfast before the day begins.